Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
