I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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