lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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