Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
