Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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