dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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