you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
