i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
