Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sorry my hands just texted you
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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