And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
