i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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