So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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