can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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