i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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