? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
