whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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