If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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