We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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