No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
