I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
