Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize