That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
