Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
