you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
