Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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