I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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