ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A+ Viking dick
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
