Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
