I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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