Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize