So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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