There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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