he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
