Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
