Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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