...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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