trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
