So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
