Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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