I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
