yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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