So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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