You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
