Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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