Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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