I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
