Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Of course I have a pirate flag
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
