get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
