I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
