i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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