Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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