So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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