babies were throwing up all over the place
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
bring money and cleavage
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
