Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
