We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Four minutes until I can fart!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
