she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
