That's intense
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
