I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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