i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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