Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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