i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize