Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
